We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
