Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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