I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
