I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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