Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
