Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
