I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
