shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
