Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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