dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
