Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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