Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
home. puking in laundry basket.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
