Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
