You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
