Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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