Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just pee around me
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
