i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
