Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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