I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
