id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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