Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He passed out mid-signature
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
3pm strippers are depressing
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
