I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
