Are we in a gay sports bar?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize