Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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