He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
