My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
