Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
