and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
