I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
