i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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