He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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