THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
