your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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