next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
