you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
