I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
