4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
