I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
