and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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