Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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