dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
