Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
