What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
