He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
