do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
