i permit you to call me
Me too!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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