do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My ATM looks so different sober.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
