So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
