Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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