May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
