from now on my penis is your penis
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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