just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
