She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Randomize
