Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize