Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
