So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
