fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
