We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
When are your genitals available?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
