I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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