Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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