Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
