it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
