Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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