So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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