1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
