How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So apparently I’m into choking now
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
