My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
