Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
