other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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