So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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