Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
